The upcoming post will be a preview of the first draft for my FOOTWEAR Chapter: Your spiritual Walk
Monday, June 30, 2008
next post will be on FOOTWEAR: your spiritual walk
The upcoming post will be a preview of the first draft for my FOOTWEAR Chapter: Your spiritual Walk
one of my many introductions
this intro, was crafted with the help of my younger sister Jocelyn.
She's just great....
Here's a preview of one of the 6 other introductions I have:
Dear Parents,
I’m going to be bold here and assume that you’re a good parent. Good parents naturally want their children to be the best that they can be. Full of confidence, power, poise... totally geared for success. As a young parent starting out, you’d had envisioned your kids growing up to love life and the people in it. But than the worries of th world invade your mind and you worry about the judgment and superficial world your child will have to face, the one that is bombarded by criticism, danger and corruption.
We all know that the world we live in has its many ups and downs. Parents have to recognize that the world out there can be tough to your kid and that they are going to have a lot of discovering to do as they walk through the path God has drawn for them. Fortunately, they have you. And you should never let them forget that.
Reassure them that they have you to turn to as a friend and not a high and mighty authoritian figure that would snap at their problems and fears. Let them want to choose you over their peers. As they crawl through life’s scary dark tunnels and narrow paths they will be thankful to know that they have someone guiding them and holding their hand through it.
Somewhere through one of those dark tunnels is going to be the one where they step out into the world and are judged. Judged on whom they are, how they behave, what they look like. This book is about preparing your child to face that exciting and scary world out there! Through the chapters, I’m going to teach you how to throw on some great clothes for your kids so they are comfortable, dashing and poised to take on the world! Together, we will help your kid put on his/her tops that ooze confidence and pants of authority, look cool in their hats of wisdom... by the time we’re done you’ll have a kid with a fashionably awesome character ready to take on this world.
Are you ready? Here we go, fashionistas! Start clothing your child with success and remember to let them choose their final wardrobe
Thursday, June 26, 2008
About the Book
This burning desire to write about PARENTING and MARRIAGES was birth out of my passion to teach and encourage. My goal is to touch lives, empower individuals and ultimately impact society through focusing on the fundamental fragmentations of every society, the family units.
Many of you who know me over the years would be probably shocked to hear that I am writing a book. Don`t worry, I was surprised myself that I was compelled to do it as well, but I always embrace my favourite Bible Verse from the book of Philippians 4:13, " I can do all things through CHRIST who strengthens me". Many of you probably remember me mainly for my sports and leadership achievements instead and not to mention my extreme struggles in my English writing skills and abilities. However, life is about challenges and grasping opportunities.
I see a huge need in this area especially as Singapore is emerging at such a rapid pace. Families need to open up in their communication and embrace LOVE and JOY from home in order to truly manage, succeed and find real happiness in the outside world.
Having been brought up in a loving and tightly-knit family, I was blessed to have been embraced with love from my two lovely parents. However the strength in unity in our family has a lot to do with fundamentals secrets that have yet to be revealed or grasped my family units in Asia
This book takes on the perspective from a daughter in an Asian context to act as a tool for parents to better understand how their children think, get feedback on how they are bringing their children up and most importantly act as a ministry in which lives can be changed through the power of forgiveness and pro-activeness, which are keys lessons that the book will be focusing on.
More information will soon be provided. I appreciate your patience and look forward to any feedback. Please sign up on the Newsletter tool on the Main Page to be kept updated about the soft launch of some sample chapters of this book.
I am attaching a very brief email description of my book, the actual one will be up by next week.
"Yah i`m actually writing a book on Parenting but from the daughter`s perspective. It will be a bottom up approach with an Asian feel to it as most parenting books have a top-down approach and have Western influence in its back bone.
I`m still working on the summary of the book as I was planning of sending it to you and putting it on my website as well.
But in a nutshell, I basically bring in a fashion analogy where I emphasize on the fact the we live in a very judgmental and superficial society where people are going to judge and criticize you whether you are minding your own business or flamboyantly attracting attention.
The book will talk about how parents need to clothe their child with success in order to give them an entry ticket to opportunities and allowing people to give them chances or even speak to them. Each piece of clothing represent a certain characteristic which is needed in today`s society.
The hats represent the importance of Academia and Education.
The tops represent the importance of developing and shaping the character of the child and teaching them to leave good impressions where ever they go, especially since we live in a very highly connected society, where connections are your keys to many once doors that seem unattainable.
The bottoms represent the vitality of instilling the authority, discipline and leadership skills in the child`s life.
The shoes represent the essence of teaching your child to be in tune with her spiritual walk with God and being able to listen to her inner voice and intuition
The watch represents being able to teach your child how to evaluate and prioritize her activities in order to achieve her dreams. It also represents time management on a whole, being punctual ...etc..etc...
The gloves represent the protection that a parent must teach when it come to knowing who and when to receive and give and how to not get hurt in these processes. It also represents the different type of practical gloves = skills and habits a child needs in order to master the power of money and the ability to know how to save and grow it
Lastly the make up and accessories represent sex appeal and teaching your child how to make her own decisions on how to view sexual intimacy in today`s 21st century
I than go into the importance of providing a full wardrobe that not only contains all the above categories of clothing but one that is complete and perfect for the child. I break it down to four main sub-points:
1. providing a wardrobe that is of quality, not one that is too cheap and is filled with holes
2. providing one that is in the child`s size and paying attention to the fact that the child may put on or lose weight
3. providing a wardrobe that is in style, one that is not only Gucci and in her size but that is relevant to today`s fashion, not 1960s.
4. lastly providing a clothing that is the right cut and fit. It is about understanding the different body shape that your child might have representing the different genetic strengths and weakness of the child and finding the right cut that will not only amplify the strengths but cover the weaknesses too.
I than focus on the importance of carrying out the clothing well, as I highlight that the clothing you wear greatly magnifies the chances you get in life but it is just the surface. I talk about how it is extremely vital that the child knows how to act after the opportunity has been offered to them.
Here i talk about more deeper character issues, the appreciation of music and arts and the gumption that one develops from sports..etc....
I also talk about a jacket and underwear.
But I`ll save that for the summary that I`ll send to you in a bit."
watch out for more
Many of you who know me over the years would be probably shocked to hear that I am writing a book. Don`t worry, I was surprised myself that I was compelled to do it as well, but I always embrace my favourite Bible Verse from the book of Philippians 4:13, " I can do all things through CHRIST who strengthens me". Many of you probably remember me mainly for my sports and leadership achievements instead and not to mention my extreme struggles in my English writing skills and abilities. However, life is about challenges and grasping opportunities.
I see a huge need in this area especially as Singapore is emerging at such a rapid pace. Families need to open up in their communication and embrace LOVE and JOY from home in order to truly manage, succeed and find real happiness in the outside world.
Having been brought up in a loving and tightly-knit family, I was blessed to have been embraced with love from my two lovely parents. However the strength in unity in our family has a lot to do with fundamentals secrets that have yet to be revealed or grasped my family units in Asia
This book takes on the perspective from a daughter in an Asian context to act as a tool for parents to better understand how their children think, get feedback on how they are bringing their children up and most importantly act as a ministry in which lives can be changed through the power of forgiveness and pro-activeness, which are keys lessons that the book will be focusing on.
More information will soon be provided. I appreciate your patience and look forward to any feedback. Please sign up on the Newsletter tool on the Main Page to be kept updated about the soft launch of some sample chapters of this book.
I am attaching a very brief email description of my book, the actual one will be up by next week.
"Yah i`m actually writing a book on Parenting but from the daughter`s perspective. It will be a bottom up approach with an Asian feel to it as most parenting books have a top-down approach and have Western influence in its back bone.
I`m still working on the summary of the book as I was planning of sending it to you and putting it on my website as well.
But in a nutshell, I basically bring in a fashion analogy where I emphasize on the fact the we live in a very judgmental and superficial society where people are going to judge and criticize you whether you are minding your own business or flamboyantly attracting attention.
The book will talk about how parents need to clothe their child with success in order to give them an entry ticket to opportunities and allowing people to give them chances or even speak to them. Each piece of clothing represent a certain characteristic which is needed in today`s society.
The hats represent the importance of Academia and Education.
The tops represent the importance of developing and shaping the character of the child and teaching them to leave good impressions where ever they go, especially since we live in a very highly connected society, where connections are your keys to many once doors that seem unattainable.
The bottoms represent the vitality of instilling the authority, discipline and leadership skills in the child`s life.
The shoes represent the essence of teaching your child to be in tune with her spiritual walk with God and being able to listen to her inner voice and intuition
The watch represents being able to teach your child how to evaluate and prioritize her activities in order to achieve her dreams. It also represents time management on a whole, being punctual ...etc..etc...
The gloves represent the protection that a parent must teach when it come to knowing who and when to receive and give and how to not get hurt in these processes. It also represents the different type of practical gloves = skills and habits a child needs in order to master the power of money and the ability to know how to save and grow it
Lastly the make up and accessories represent sex appeal and teaching your child how to make her own decisions on how to view sexual intimacy in today`s 21st century
I than go into the importance of providing a full wardrobe that not only contains all the above categories of clothing but one that is complete and perfect for the child. I break it down to four main sub-points:
1. providing a wardrobe that is of quality, not one that is too cheap and is filled with holes
2. providing one that is in the child`s size and paying attention to the fact that the child may put on or lose weight
3. providing a wardrobe that is in style, one that is not only Gucci and in her size but that is relevant to today`s fashion, not 1960s.
4. lastly providing a clothing that is the right cut and fit. It is about understanding the different body shape that your child might have representing the different genetic strengths and weakness of the child and finding the right cut that will not only amplify the strengths but cover the weaknesses too.
I than focus on the importance of carrying out the clothing well, as I highlight that the clothing you wear greatly magnifies the chances you get in life but it is just the surface. I talk about how it is extremely vital that the child knows how to act after the opportunity has been offered to them.
Here i talk about more deeper character issues, the appreciation of music and arts and the gumption that one develops from sports..etc....
I also talk about a jacket and underwear.
But I`ll save that for the summary that I`ll send to you in a bit."
watch out for more
COMMUNICATION
Communication
Inspiration from Kenny Toh, Parents as Coaches
One of the main problems in today’s families is the lack of communication. Let me be a little more specific and state effective and quality communication, as many of us ‘communicate’ through shouting, door clamming or silent body gestures continuously at home. The lack of proper communication has been lacking in families and this is not a new epidemic.
Effective communication really takes two hands to clap and it requires both parties to actively listen and contribute tactfully to the communication process. If otherwise done, you might as well talk straight to a blank wall or your favorite stuff toy at home.
I’m going to lay out some elements of effective communication in this write up and I hope you will be able to pick up some nuggets of truth and inspiration.
Communication through PLAY:
Children have been born to play. Even when I’m nearing 24, I still love playing and I make it a point to have fun in whatever I do, be it work or reading a book or even just sweating it out at the gym.
It is no secret that children learn best through playing. In fact, that applies to adults too. Playing is not only essential but a lot of fun too. It warms up and relaxes the mind, making it open and receptive to learning.
Playing puts a child in a state of wonder, enabling them to experiment with new things, ideas or activities, uninhibited by fears arising from excessive self-consciousness. The message for parents is that, "if you want to teach children something effectively, make sure that the process is fun for them".
Moreover, playing has healthy consequences to the family, for a family that plays together often stays together.
Communication through AFFIRMATION:
Children need affirmation, especially from their parents. Affirmation is nourishment for the soul. Affirmation may be given in the form of words such as "I believe in you" and "You are doing fine", or simply by nodding our head with encouragement. When we affirm our children, we strengthen their beliefs in themselves and help them build greater confidence.
Communication through COMPASSION:
Compassion is about feeling for others, empathizing with their sufferings, a virtue that is beneficial to cultivate from young. Virtues or values are to be caught and not taught. The best way to cultivate compassion in our children is through our actions. Children learn and absorb what’s around them like sponges. We may be quiet about what we are choosing to soak in but we tend to retail a lot of things, both good and bad.
An act of compassion need not necessarily involve volunteering at non-profit organizations or donating cash to charities. Opportunities for showing compassion happen in our every day life and is especially apparent in times of crisis. Most people are filled to the brim with complaints and bad mood, emo things, but it is at these times that compassion can really go very far.
If parents were to show such compassion since their children’s growing up age, it will inevitable rub off on them. It will be ingrained in their sub-conscious mind and a mimic behavior on their part would not be a chore or sacrifice but their way of life.
Recently, I have committed to show compassion in my daily life. I started tipping generously to people who least expect it. For example, paying a tip to the cab driver that is 50% of the fare or even 100%! The shocked but happy smile was all worth it. It made my day and definitely made his. Another thing we should all do, is thanking and tipping the uncles and aunties at the hawker centers and in our washrooms. Think about this: When was the last time they got a compliment?
Trust me on this, their smiles and appreciation will be worth much more than your dollars and cents.
Additionally, they need it much more than you do and I can promise that you will get back your act of kindness much more in return. Remember that we were blessed so that we can in return be a blessing. If you sow financially you will reap financially. It’s a biblical and spiritual truth. So go out there and bless
Communication through EMPATHY:
Empathy is the cornerstone of effective communication between the parent and the child. The key to tuning into our children emotionally lies in our ability to listen with empathy. Empathy requires the ability to feel what they feel, see what they see, hear what they hear, without reacting to these emotions. To listen with empathy, we need to be fully present to our children. Children need undivided attention. Through listening to their emotions, and acknowledging them without judgment, we make them feel understood. When a child feels understood, he feels loved. And when he feels loved, his opens up and becomes receptive to guidance.
Communication through HONESTY:
We would like to think that honesty is the best policy, but the truth often hurts. At times, honesty can be brutal. When a child tells a parent how much he hated his little brother and how he wishes that the latter is dead, it may cause the parent to feel hurt or furious over the child's ill thinking.
How should the parent respond? Definitely not with anger or disapproval. To encourage honesty, we need to maintain an environment in which our children feel safe to open their hearts and speak honestly. Conscious parents will acknowledge the child's courage for being honest, show empathy for the child's hatred, seek to understand the underlying causes, and then guide them out of the undesirable emotions.
Communication through INFINITE PATIENCE:
Effective parenting requires infinite patience. Children seldom respond at the rate that we wish they do. They need a lot room to experiment, try new ideas, and figure things out without being rushed or ridiculed.
With infinite patience, we are able to provide them the space for learning, failing, and growth. The best way to cultivate our patience, is to put the well-being of our children at heart when we are being with them. When their development is placed at the top of our priority, there is nothing else that we ought to be rushing to at the expense of their growth.
Communication through LISTENING:
The art of attentive listening is essential to effective communication. Listening attentively to our children requires us to be fully present to the conversation that we are having with them, while being aware of the perceptual filters that is determining what we are listening to.
We seldom listen with a truly neutral or open mind. What is important is not to eradicate these filters, but to be conscious of them and choose the appropriate filters that fit the situation. When we give our children full attention, we show them respect. As we listen with empathy, and respond in a manner which shows that we appreciate how they feel, we make them feel understood and loved.
Communication through QUESTIONING:
A question sets up an expectation for an answer. Questioning is one of the most powerful tools we could use to direct our children's thoughts. With great power, comes great responsibility, and hence it is to be used with care. Asking a child "Why did you do this?" may invite him to look for reasons and excuses for his behavior, and even lead him to lie if he feels that honesty will lead to worse consequences. Asking a child "What do you think you can do about it now?" directs his attention to actions, instead of reasons.
Asking a child "What if you can?" can redirect his thinking from limitations to possibilities. Conscious parents constantly hone their skills in questioning by developing a collection of useful questions to be fired off at the appropriate moments for guiding their children effectively.
Communication through SUGGESTIONS:
Suggestions work better than instructions. Children and teenagers who are establishing their own identities are prone to reject being told what they should do.
Consider the use of suggestions through the use of words such as "Would you consider ..." or "Perhaps you may like to try ..." instead of "Do as I say!". Suggestions have the power of penetrating into the child's subconscious mind, and hence, bypassing the deliberate evaluation by the conscious mind where the child accepts or rejects what was said.
True suggestions, we can provide guidance through exploring them to new options, without appearing to imposing on them.
Communication through JOKES AND RIDDLES:
Children love jokes and riddles because they make them laugh.
A sense of humor is a great asset for getting through to children. Make a commitment to learn some jokes and riddles, and use them generously on your children, especially when they feel down or depressed. After all, laughter is often the best medicine!
Inspiration from Kenny Toh, Parents as Coaches
One of the main problems in today’s families is the lack of communication. Let me be a little more specific and state effective and quality communication, as many of us ‘communicate’ through shouting, door clamming or silent body gestures continuously at home. The lack of proper communication has been lacking in families and this is not a new epidemic.
Effective communication really takes two hands to clap and it requires both parties to actively listen and contribute tactfully to the communication process. If otherwise done, you might as well talk straight to a blank wall or your favorite stuff toy at home.
I’m going to lay out some elements of effective communication in this write up and I hope you will be able to pick up some nuggets of truth and inspiration.
Communication through PLAY:
Children have been born to play. Even when I’m nearing 24, I still love playing and I make it a point to have fun in whatever I do, be it work or reading a book or even just sweating it out at the gym.
It is no secret that children learn best through playing. In fact, that applies to adults too. Playing is not only essential but a lot of fun too. It warms up and relaxes the mind, making it open and receptive to learning.
Playing puts a child in a state of wonder, enabling them to experiment with new things, ideas or activities, uninhibited by fears arising from excessive self-consciousness. The message for parents is that, "if you want to teach children something effectively, make sure that the process is fun for them".
Moreover, playing has healthy consequences to the family, for a family that plays together often stays together.
Communication through AFFIRMATION:
Children need affirmation, especially from their parents. Affirmation is nourishment for the soul. Affirmation may be given in the form of words such as "I believe in you" and "You are doing fine", or simply by nodding our head with encouragement. When we affirm our children, we strengthen their beliefs in themselves and help them build greater confidence.
Communication through COMPASSION:
Compassion is about feeling for others, empathizing with their sufferings, a virtue that is beneficial to cultivate from young. Virtues or values are to be caught and not taught. The best way to cultivate compassion in our children is through our actions. Children learn and absorb what’s around them like sponges. We may be quiet about what we are choosing to soak in but we tend to retail a lot of things, both good and bad.
An act of compassion need not necessarily involve volunteering at non-profit organizations or donating cash to charities. Opportunities for showing compassion happen in our every day life and is especially apparent in times of crisis. Most people are filled to the brim with complaints and bad mood, emo things, but it is at these times that compassion can really go very far.
If parents were to show such compassion since their children’s growing up age, it will inevitable rub off on them. It will be ingrained in their sub-conscious mind and a mimic behavior on their part would not be a chore or sacrifice but their way of life.
Recently, I have committed to show compassion in my daily life. I started tipping generously to people who least expect it. For example, paying a tip to the cab driver that is 50% of the fare or even 100%! The shocked but happy smile was all worth it. It made my day and definitely made his. Another thing we should all do, is thanking and tipping the uncles and aunties at the hawker centers and in our washrooms. Think about this: When was the last time they got a compliment?
Trust me on this, their smiles and appreciation will be worth much more than your dollars and cents.
Additionally, they need it much more than you do and I can promise that you will get back your act of kindness much more in return. Remember that we were blessed so that we can in return be a blessing. If you sow financially you will reap financially. It’s a biblical and spiritual truth. So go out there and bless
Communication through EMPATHY:
Empathy is the cornerstone of effective communication between the parent and the child. The key to tuning into our children emotionally lies in our ability to listen with empathy. Empathy requires the ability to feel what they feel, see what they see, hear what they hear, without reacting to these emotions. To listen with empathy, we need to be fully present to our children. Children need undivided attention. Through listening to their emotions, and acknowledging them without judgment, we make them feel understood. When a child feels understood, he feels loved. And when he feels loved, his opens up and becomes receptive to guidance.
Communication through HONESTY:
We would like to think that honesty is the best policy, but the truth often hurts. At times, honesty can be brutal. When a child tells a parent how much he hated his little brother and how he wishes that the latter is dead, it may cause the parent to feel hurt or furious over the child's ill thinking.
How should the parent respond? Definitely not with anger or disapproval. To encourage honesty, we need to maintain an environment in which our children feel safe to open their hearts and speak honestly. Conscious parents will acknowledge the child's courage for being honest, show empathy for the child's hatred, seek to understand the underlying causes, and then guide them out of the undesirable emotions.
Communication through INFINITE PATIENCE:
Effective parenting requires infinite patience. Children seldom respond at the rate that we wish they do. They need a lot room to experiment, try new ideas, and figure things out without being rushed or ridiculed.
With infinite patience, we are able to provide them the space for learning, failing, and growth. The best way to cultivate our patience, is to put the well-being of our children at heart when we are being with them. When their development is placed at the top of our priority, there is nothing else that we ought to be rushing to at the expense of their growth.
Communication through LISTENING:
The art of attentive listening is essential to effective communication. Listening attentively to our children requires us to be fully present to the conversation that we are having with them, while being aware of the perceptual filters that is determining what we are listening to.
We seldom listen with a truly neutral or open mind. What is important is not to eradicate these filters, but to be conscious of them and choose the appropriate filters that fit the situation. When we give our children full attention, we show them respect. As we listen with empathy, and respond in a manner which shows that we appreciate how they feel, we make them feel understood and loved.
Communication through QUESTIONING:
A question sets up an expectation for an answer. Questioning is one of the most powerful tools we could use to direct our children's thoughts. With great power, comes great responsibility, and hence it is to be used with care. Asking a child "Why did you do this?" may invite him to look for reasons and excuses for his behavior, and even lead him to lie if he feels that honesty will lead to worse consequences. Asking a child "What do you think you can do about it now?" directs his attention to actions, instead of reasons.
Asking a child "What if you can?" can redirect his thinking from limitations to possibilities. Conscious parents constantly hone their skills in questioning by developing a collection of useful questions to be fired off at the appropriate moments for guiding their children effectively.
Communication through SUGGESTIONS:
Suggestions work better than instructions. Children and teenagers who are establishing their own identities are prone to reject being told what they should do.
Consider the use of suggestions through the use of words such as "Would you consider ..." or "Perhaps you may like to try ..." instead of "Do as I say!". Suggestions have the power of penetrating into the child's subconscious mind, and hence, bypassing the deliberate evaluation by the conscious mind where the child accepts or rejects what was said.
True suggestions, we can provide guidance through exploring them to new options, without appearing to imposing on them.
Communication through JOKES AND RIDDLES:
Children love jokes and riddles because they make them laugh.
A sense of humor is a great asset for getting through to children. Make a commitment to learn some jokes and riddles, and use them generously on your children, especially when they feel down or depressed. After all, laughter is often the best medicine!
What's the book about?
The backbone of the book is based upon the fact that we all live in a very superficial and judgmental society. That is something we can not change but have to accept as a fact. It is a hard truth to swallow but like I said it is something we all need to realize. The only thing we can do is to package ourselves in a way that the judgmental world we live in would view us in a different light.
Hence assuming that Parents want their children to be successful. The parents' primary role to cloth their child with success to prepare them for a world that is not only judgmental but also very superficial.
I bring in a fashion analogy to illustrate the different aspects of how a parent can groom their child in prepare them to make a good first and lasting impression in the eyes of the world.
Each piece of clothing form a full wardrobe for the child to feel equipped to be at her best at all times.
However, I also focus on the fact that ....yes it is vital to please the world but it is also very important to ensure that the child feels comfortable in the clothing that they wear.
I distinctly emphasize that life is all about choices and the parents can not choose for their children. What they can do is shape how their child chooses and pray that the child follows in the right direction.
I mention that it is essential that the parent provide a full wardrobe for their child. Why? Well the child can't go out naked, so they would have to go shopping if the parent does not provide the essential clothing at home.
Shopping represents: Peer pressure and influence they every child encounters and sometime internalizes into their being. They bring home these 'clothing' or beliefs and add it to their wardrobe at home.
I am not trying to say that the parent is left to blame if they do not provide for the child at home, but they are left without a concrete argument against their child if they do not agree with the practices their child is adopting from outside of the home.
Next I talk about the importance of not only providing a full wardrobe for their child.... but a wardrobe that....
1. is of QUALITY
2. in their SIZE
3. in STYLE: As the child is not going to wear something that is from the 1920s
4. FITS their unique BODY SHAPE: each of us are born with unique strengths and weakness, parents need to realize that a parenting style of technique is not a one size fits all
I say that our clothing is an expression of who we are. As a child and a young adult, I will not put on something that I do not feel comfortable and confident in. This is crucial and parents need to realise that they can not force doctrians on us without asking how we feel or think.
Hence assuming that Parents want their children to be successful. The parents' primary role to cloth their child with success to prepare them for a world that is not only judgmental but also very superficial.
I bring in a fashion analogy to illustrate the different aspects of how a parent can groom their child in prepare them to make a good first and lasting impression in the eyes of the world.
Each piece of clothing form a full wardrobe for the child to feel equipped to be at her best at all times.
However, I also focus on the fact that ....yes it is vital to please the world but it is also very important to ensure that the child feels comfortable in the clothing that they wear.
I distinctly emphasize that life is all about choices and the parents can not choose for their children. What they can do is shape how their child chooses and pray that the child follows in the right direction.
I mention that it is essential that the parent provide a full wardrobe for their child. Why? Well the child can't go out naked, so they would have to go shopping if the parent does not provide the essential clothing at home.
Shopping represents: Peer pressure and influence they every child encounters and sometime internalizes into their being. They bring home these 'clothing' or beliefs and add it to their wardrobe at home.
I am not trying to say that the parent is left to blame if they do not provide for the child at home, but they are left without a concrete argument against their child if they do not agree with the practices their child is adopting from outside of the home.
Next I talk about the importance of not only providing a full wardrobe for their child.... but a wardrobe that....
1. is of QUALITY
2. in their SIZE
3. in STYLE: As the child is not going to wear something that is from the 1920s
4. FITS their unique BODY SHAPE: each of us are born with unique strengths and weakness, parents need to realize that a parenting style of technique is not a one size fits all
I say that our clothing is an expression of who we are. As a child and a young adult, I will not put on something that I do not feel comfortable and confident in. This is crucial and parents need to realise that they can not force doctrians on us without asking how we feel or think.
Why Parenting?
Many of you must have questioned or are still questioning why this fresh College Graduate would want to write a book about parenting. You have probably realized by now that I am still single, have no adopted children or children of my own. However, I do have a heart and passion for children and youth. I have taught at the YMCA children camps, gone for numerous mission trips, taught Conflict Resolution and Anger Management Modules to Grade 5 students in Canada and volunteered to teaching Sunday Schools at my church, City Mission Church. Additionally I am thankful to God for creating this desire to share how children, youth and young adults perceive parenting for their point of view.
This book was inspired to bridge current parents’ understanding of their children and enhance the intangible relationships within families. This need to share such values and insights was initially birth in me when I was still a teenager. I was appalled by the numerous youths who openly cursed their parents, belittle their jobs or lifestyle and had absolutely no respect. It is sad but such bombardments of disrespect flood our city.
I was blessed to have been brought up by good Christian parents who love and care for me even despite my misbehaviour. I give a lot of tribute to the fact that my dad was posted overseas with OUB Asia, indrectly forcing my mom to leave the corporate rat race and transform into a stay home mom.
Quality family time in Canada was a lot more apparent due to the more felxible and shorter work house. We spent our weekend going fishing, playing at the parks, riding horses...etc...stuff that very little families in Singapore have the luxury of time to do so, especially since we live in such a rapid pace society.
Singapore had been booming exponentially and a standard two-income family’s cash flow just making ends meat is the norm. It is almost impossible for a fresh graduate to ultimately pay for a down payment of any private residential unit (public residents: HDB requires that you are over 35 years old or are married to qualify for a HDB unit) as the prices have soured due to the recent 2007 economic boom and sky rocketing inflation.
Parents are forced turn to foreign helpers to take care of their children and this inevitably leads to more quality shared between the maid than the parent in a lot of cases. With the reduction of quality time spent, effective communication is broken down leading to a further gap in the quality of relationships at home.
So who is to blame? The society, the parents or the children?
There is only so much that we can do to change the society we live in, but the correlation between how we direct our actions towards our famly is a 100% cause and effect.
So the real question is, how willing and determined are we to foster the relationships you have as a family unit?
To what extents are you willing to go through to fight for this goal?
Parents need to realise that this issue to their family and need to internalise that parenting is a joy and a previledge.
Parenting is an opportunity for rediscovering one`s inner child that had been buried deeply beneath the layers of conditioning that we had acquired in the process of growing up. It is a reminder to feel young again at heart, and experience the world with a child-like wonder. It is all right to be playful.
Give yourself full permission to party and have fun with our children
This book was inspired to bridge current parents’ understanding of their children and enhance the intangible relationships within families. This need to share such values and insights was initially birth in me when I was still a teenager. I was appalled by the numerous youths who openly cursed their parents, belittle their jobs or lifestyle and had absolutely no respect. It is sad but such bombardments of disrespect flood our city.
I was blessed to have been brought up by good Christian parents who love and care for me even despite my misbehaviour. I give a lot of tribute to the fact that my dad was posted overseas with OUB Asia, indrectly forcing my mom to leave the corporate rat race and transform into a stay home mom.
Quality family time in Canada was a lot more apparent due to the more felxible and shorter work house. We spent our weekend going fishing, playing at the parks, riding horses...etc...stuff that very little families in Singapore have the luxury of time to do so, especially since we live in such a rapid pace society.
Singapore had been booming exponentially and a standard two-income family’s cash flow just making ends meat is the norm. It is almost impossible for a fresh graduate to ultimately pay for a down payment of any private residential unit (public residents: HDB requires that you are over 35 years old or are married to qualify for a HDB unit) as the prices have soured due to the recent 2007 economic boom and sky rocketing inflation.
Parents are forced turn to foreign helpers to take care of their children and this inevitably leads to more quality shared between the maid than the parent in a lot of cases. With the reduction of quality time spent, effective communication is broken down leading to a further gap in the quality of relationships at home.
So who is to blame? The society, the parents or the children?
There is only so much that we can do to change the society we live in, but the correlation between how we direct our actions towards our famly is a 100% cause and effect.
So the real question is, how willing and determined are we to foster the relationships you have as a family unit?
To what extents are you willing to go through to fight for this goal?
Parents need to realise that this issue to their family and need to internalise that parenting is a joy and a previledge.
Parenting is an opportunity for rediscovering one`s inner child that had been buried deeply beneath the layers of conditioning that we had acquired in the process of growing up. It is a reminder to feel young again at heart, and experience the world with a child-like wonder. It is all right to be playful.
Give yourself full permission to party and have fun with our children
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
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